Hunger Games
by ImJudyGarland
Summary: Multi-Chapter. Nick and Jess play a drinking game. Then things get complicated.
1. Drinking Buddies

One particular Saturday night in early November, the gang were all sitting in the common area of the loft. All were without plans for the evening, which was a rare occurrence.

Nick sat slumped on the couch, a beer in one hand, a tv remote in the other. Schmidt sat in the chair with his computer on his lap, updating Wikipedia entries. He said bringing order to online chaos relaxed him. Winston stood dribbling a basketball, occasionally making a shot in the hoop at the back of the loft.

"Hey guys, why don't we all do something?" Jess was in one of her super-hyper moods. The ones that usually made Nick wanna stick his fingers in his ears and sing loudly every time she talked. Instead it usually just resulted in a ridiculous argument about something crazy like do you have to refrigerate pickles or not. Nick would eventually storm off to his room, angry, frustrated...and turned on.

Winston sat down on the couch, "Like what Jess? Not really in the mood for another craft night. That last time I accidentally used that industrial strength glue and had to walk around with that popsicle stick man glued to my hand for a week."

Jess hopped up in front of the tv, the guys all hollered she was blocking their view. "So we're just gonna sit around and stare at a box all night?"

"Yes..." all three said at once.

Jess sat down on the floor, a sinking expression on her face. Two minutes later, she jumped up. "I got an idea! Let's all play 'I Never.' I haven't played that game since college! What do you say guys? We've been friends for a while, but I bet there's things we still don't know about each other. It'll be fun!"

Nick groaned out loud. "Jess, no way, that game is incredibly lame. People in college only play that game as an excuse to get drunk and laid."

Jess caught Nick's eye and raised an eyebrow. He was caught in her stare and couldn't look away. He swallowed hard as she let a slow grin take over her face.

"Well, the drunk part we can handle. That's right up your alley, Nick. We haven't had a drunken loft night since that last game of True American with Russell. Come on Nick, you know you wanna." Jess laughed at the smirk she saw Nick fighting.

"I could do some shots. I'm in." Winston stood up and high-fived Jess. "Schmidt, you in?"

Schmidt shut his laptop lid, and took it over to the kitchen table. "Yeah, sure, why not. Wikipedia is a sloppy mess. I just got finished updating Philip Seymour Hoffman's early education. It was woefully lacking in details."

Jess sat down right beside Nick and put her hand on his arm. "Nick?"

He never could fight her for very long at anything she asked him to do. "Fine. But I get to pick the booze."

Nick went over to their liquor shelf and came back to the coffee table with a bottle of Whiskey, Silver Rum and Vanilla Vodka. He left and came back with twelve shot glasses that he lined up on the table. He poured four of each bottle into the glasses.

"Alright, great! This is awesome, guys. I'll go first. I never...peed standing up." Jess looked around at them giggling.

Nick made a face, "Ewww, Jess, you aren't wasting any time trying to gross me out are you. Not fair putting images like that in my brain." Each of the guys picked up a glass and drank.

Schmidt made a wretching noise immediately after. "Euuugh. That was whiskey! Nick how do you drink that stuff straight?"

Nick looked at Schmidt with annoyance, "Don't be such a Nancy-boy. Take it like a man."

Winston went next. "Ok, my turn. I never...wore pink underwear."

Jess leaned over and reached for a Vanilla shot. Then Schmidt put his head down slightly, peeked up for a second, then picked one up too.

"Schmidt?! Are you kiddin me? WHY?" Winston put his hands over his eyes.

"It was all part of a sensual quid-pro-quo situation. I can't say anything further." Schmidt was without shame, maybe even a little proud of it, as it had involved CeCe.

"Alright, now me. I never...called my ex-girlfriend every night for six months crying and impersonating British actors from _Bridget Jones Diary_." Schmidt chuckled smugly to himself.

Nick immediately called fowl. "No way man, you can't single me out like that. Plus that was her favorite movie, okay? Ughh, fine, I can hold my liquor." He grabbed a shot of whiskey and downed it in one gulp. "I never bought 30 pairs of shoes in one day, then spent $100 a month to store them."

Schmidt barked back, "There was a designer outlet store sale that I couldn't pass up! And you can't leave those kind of shoes in their original boxes. They have to be protected in a controlled environment yet given the proper amount of air."

Schmidt reluctantly picked up a rum shot and drank it fast, wincing. He was starting to feel woozy. "Ok, let's up the stakes now, shall we? I never lived in a loft with three other people and didn't spend every day cleaning and organizing it all by myself!"

All the three remaining roomfriends sat guilty in their seats, conceding that Schmidt was the loft mother, and each took a shot.

Jess spoke fast, "I never went to space!"

Nick laughed, "Jess, come on. Seriously? All right, everybody drink!"

Two rounds later, Schmidt was hanging over the back of the couch moaning about his acid reflux, and Winston was laying on the floor giggling like a little girl.

Schmidt got up and headed for his room, "Look guys, all this alcohol is exacerbating my hiatal hernia. I'm out. Good night loft-mateys! I will see you in the A.M., where we will all be in a great deal of pain."

Winston started crawling towards his room and rammed his head into the iron wall. He sat dazed for a moment, rubbing his head, then continued to move til he was in his room, and the door pushed shut.

Jess sat on the couch next to Nick, smiling like a cheshire cat. He looked back at her with hazy eyes, "Jess...I think you've had too much. I'm gonna have to cut you off now. I'm the bartender man, and the bartender man has powers. He has the powers to stop people from drinking so much that they can't stop themselves from acting like goofy Disney characters. After which there will be no women...and then there will be no sexxx. No sexxxx. Isn't that a strange word? Sexxxxxx. It feels like there should be a K in there somewhere...like a lot of Ks. But Nope. Nada. Nada Ks, Jess."

Jess giggled uncontrollably at this repeated use of that word. "Nick, we shouldn't be talking about that! It's not what friends do...you know?"

Nick looked at her, hammered, but attempting a serious response. "Yes they do, Jess. Friends talk about sex."

"Not when those friends are a guy and a girl. It makes things blurry. Makes things tense. Complicated. Didn't you see _When Harry Met Sally? _Please don't say it again, Nick. Dooon't say it, okay?"

"Okay, Jess, I won't." He grabbed her chin and focused on her eyes and said, "Hey Jess...Sexxxxxxxx."

Jess slapped his hand away and fell back on the couch, laughing hysterically. Nick leaned over and grabbed her hand. "Stop it, Jess. You are being very immmmarrrture."

She held his eyes with hers and stopped laughing, grinning at the way his hand felt firm and warm in hers. A rush of excitement took over as her foggy mind managed to grasp one thing. They were alone now. Something in the atmosphere had changed. They didn't talk about it. They didn't have to. Jess wanted something from him. Needed something. "We need to finish the game. One more round, Nick."

Nick let out a breathy, nervous laugh, "The game is over Jess. We all got smaaashed, and it was very educational. I now know that Winston likes to sometimes mix mint toothpaste in his ice cream, and Schmidt has a drawer in his file cabinet for nothing but cologne samples, ratings and comments."

Jess looked at Nick with a strange but loaded expression. "One more. We'll use whiskey. You love whiskey, right? Ok, I go first." Feeling a little crazy, she decided to go with it. Jess grabbed the hem of her t shirt and yanked it off over her head, throwing it across the couch past Nick. "I never kept my shirt on while playing a drinking game with my roommate." Sitting on the couch now in a pink skirt, and a matching pink bra, she giggled at him, waiting. Game rules be damned, she was throwing caution out the window. Her drunken mind was getting reckless. And she liked it.

Nick breathed heavily, his eyes simmering with something deep and slightly dark. She stopped laughing and let him pull her in with his inky stare. Then he reached past her and pouring another whiskey, threw it back, his eyes locked on hers the whole time.

Kneeling down in front of her on the couch, he slowly ran his hands up her creamy thighs. He walked his fingers to the top of her skirt, pulled down her zipper and yanked it off her bare legs. He tossed it across the floor. "I never took off my roommates skirt." He moved himself up and put his arms around her waist and grabbed her closer. His forehead pressed into hers, their eyes moving haphazardly across each others faces, looking for a safe place to land.

Jess let out a soft moan, then stroked his cheek, and whispered, "I never let my roommate put his tongue in my mouth on our living room couch." Breathing raggedly, her eyes dared him. He immediately accepted the challenge, smashing his lips onto hers, taking the opportunity of her surprised "O" to tangle his tongue with hers.

His mouth moved to her ear, and he sloppily sucked it and whispered, "I never had sexxxxxxxx with my roommate in her bed." Jess grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head, then threw herself against him, her arms around his neck, her legs stradling his waist.

Nick picked her up and her legs went instantly around him as he carried her to her room, slamming the door behind them.


	2. Let the Games Begin

Pain. Nick groaned and rolled over in bed, his head throbbing. Laying flat against the mattress, his hands reached out to search for one of his pillows. Instead he grasped a wad of hair. He slowly turned his head and opened his eyes, taking in a naked dark haired woman lying next to him. He realized he was not in his own bed. Images from the night before began to play in his mind. Crashing down into Jess' bed, pressing his body against hers. Heavy breathing and hands everywhere and frantic kissing and...yeah, they did it alright.

_No. No no no no no. This cannot be happening. What have I done?_

Jess lay beside him, propped up on three pillows, her hair cascading down the left side, covering half her face. Panic seized Nick. How could he have allowed this to happen? He and Jess were friends. Best friends even. This was going to ruin everything.

_But you wanted it to happen. You've wanted it for a long time._

He couldn't deny the truth of his thoughts that seemed to be swirling a mile a minute in his foggy brain. The fact that he had wanted her didn't matter. He had taken advantage of her in a weak moment. Yes, they were both very drunk, but that gave him little comfort against what he now felt had been a world altering moment.

Jess suddenly let out a low moan and lifting her hair off her eyes, squinted over at the man beside her. Her eyes widened at the sight of her roommate laying naked in her bed. She sat up quickly, the cover dropping to reveal her bare breasts. She grabbed the sheet and pulled it up to her chin. Looking at Nick, she let out a hollow giggle. He chuckled back at her nervously.

Jess sat confused and horrified, trying to figure out the situation. "Nick. I'm gonna be honest here. I am really hazy on last night's details. Can you help me out a little? You're here in my bed this morning. And we both have no clothes on. So...did we?"

Nick looked sheepishly at her, "Well, we were playing a drinking game, remember? Schmidt and Winston were there. And then they weren't there. And then you were there in my arms. And then we were in your bed. And...yeah, it appears that we did."

Jess looked at Nick, letting the details line up in her head. She had sex with her roommate. With Nick. Her best friend. She suddenly remembered a _When Harry Met Sally _conversation with him in the living room. Then a dare. She had basically taken off her shirt and dared him to kiss her. She had started it. Taking her head in her hands she moaned again. "Nick, I am so sorry. It was all me. We were drunk and I apparently threw myself at you. I'm starting to remember. How could I have messed things up so badly?"

Nick interrupted her, "No Jess! It was me. I was the one who took you to bed. I should have stopped it, I should have been stronger. You are so important to me. You are my best friend, and I would never do anything to hurt you. But it looks like I did. I'm the one who's sorry Jess."

She looked at him carefully, feeling a little bold. "You didn't hurt me, Nick. You did anything but hurt me last night." Remembering more details, she giggled shyly. "Let's be honest. It was good. Very good actually."

Nick let a wide grin take over his face at her coy expression. "Yes, it was very good." They got quiet for a few moments. "It just can't happen again, right?"

Jess looked back up into his eyes, "Right. Never again. Just a one time thing. We'll just agree to forget it and move on."

"Right we'll just move on," Nick half-heartedly agreed with her. He cleared his throat and coughed, "Hey, Jess...have you seen my pants anywhere?"

Jess leaned over the side of the bed, scanning the floor, they appeared to be nowhere in sight. "Uh, no, can't see them anywhere around." She shifted slightly.

Nick stood up and grabbed a small pink blanet from the end of her bed and wrapped it around his waist. It barely covered him. He moved quickly to her door and turned around for a minute before leaving. "So, I'll see you later?"

Jess tried to keep her gaze on his face and not his basically naked body, and answered back, "Yeah, later."

He turned and walked out, going into his own room and closing the door.

Jess breathed out a heavy pent up breath. They would just move on. They were friends, and roommates. Anything else would just never work between them. He was surly and she was quirky. She liked musicals and he hated singing.

_He has large, strong hands that feel so good against my skin. NO! STOP IT, JESS! You have to stop thinking thoughts like that, or this will never work._

Making up her mind, she got up and got dressed for the day. When they met in the kitchen later, it was awkward at first, but they both tried their hardest to get things back to normal. They went about their daily business for the next two weeks, not seeing each other much with their differing schedules. When they did meet, there was some tension, but they seemed to fall into a pattern of pushing it away and just trying to be Nick and Jess again. _Trying_ being the operative word.

~N/J~

Jess sat drumming her fingers on her desk. It was five o'clock and she was still stranded at school. Her car was at the mechanic, and she had been getting rides home from coworkers that week, but today there was no one available. She had called Nick and he reluctantly agreed to pick her up after school. It had been two hours, and still no Nick. She was getting beyond frustrated. Gathering her things, she walked out to the front of the school and sat on a bench. She was used to Nick helping her take care of things. Even from their early loft days, he had stepped into the role of protector, even sometimes "emotional fluffer." She had gotten used to his help. It wasn't like him to agree to something and then not follow through.

Finally, she saw his car approaching from the distance. He pulled up quickly and stopped the car in front of her. She jumped up and got in, at first saying nothing. He looked over at her hesitantly, "Jess, I'm sorry. I was asleep and I just woke up like ten minutes ago."

"It's fine, Nick, I like staying at work two hours late. After a fun day of dealing with angry children who throw things and lazy kids who don't listen, I enjoy just sticking around for a while." Jess knew she was being unreasonable, but she didn't care. She was upset.

He blew out a breath, not in the mood for an attitude. "Fine, Jess. You wanna be a baby about something that was just an honest mistake, that's fine. Go right ahead." Nick's seethed in the driver's seat, gripping the steering wheel tighter.

"You wanna talk about acting like a baby? You're the one who practically has a conniption when I have two or more friends over for an evening." Jess pursed her lips and crossed her arms.

"You had eight women over that night, Jess! They all got slobbering drunk and sang loud showtunes. They kept coming into my room all night hitting on me and trying to steal my clothes!" Nick's voice rose to shouting standards.

"My friends? At least my friends don't smoke nasty cuban cigars and eat all the food in the entire loft!" Jess was flat out yelling at him now.

Nick screeched to a halt at the back end of the parking lot and put the car in park. He reached over and grabbed her arms, "You are a crazy person Jess!"

His breathing was loud and ragged, his eyes blazing as they locked onto hers. Her breaths matched his, erratic and out of control. Suddenly they threw themselves at each other, lips crashing against lips, tongues tangling, hands frantically grabbing at each other's bodies. Nick moaned against her mouth, "Jess..." while he reached up under her shirt and unclasped her bra, running his hands all over her naked breasts. She whimpered against his mouth, her hands moving to his belt buckle, quickly unfastening it.

"This is crazy," she whispered as he lowered her down against the seat. She felt him slowly pull down her panties and rapidly move to align himself with her core.

"Crazy," he repeated as he moved inside of her, quickly finding a rhythm. They rocked against each other with increasing speed. Jess wrapped her legs around him as tightly as she could, while his lips passionately attacked her mouth. In a matter of minutes, they both came apart and collapsed against each other, each trying to catch their breath.

Jess sat up and put her hand over her face and sighed deeply. Nick leaned his arms over the steering wheel and stared into the distant blue twilight. After several minutes he cranked the engine and drove off toward the loft. They didn't say anything the entire ride home, both just sitting silently confused.

Walking into the building, Nick pushed the elevator button and waited for the doors to open. They both got inside, the doors closing behind them. They looked away from each other, staying quiet. Seconds later, Nick's arm went around her waist and she turned her body into him at the exact same time, his lips taking possession of hers once more. They stumbled against the wall, Nick's mouth moving down to her neck, layering hot kisses all over her throat.

"Nick, what are we doing," she moaned as his hands slid up her skirt and grabbed her ass cheeks, pulling her tightly up against his body.

Nick's lips moved to her ear and he whispered, "I don't know...but I like it."

Jess moaned again at the feel of his hot breath on her neck. "I like it too."


	3. Text Me

_**Jess is out of town at a School Conference for the weekend. So, some texting is happening. Wanted to do something different. Longer chapters to come!**_

Hey.

Hi :-)

How's it going?

Oh, not bad. Back at the hotel now. Just got out of a conference on Policy and Procedure for School Uniforms.

Sounds fun.

Yes very :-)

So, theyre making u wear uniforms now? Like Britany Spears? NICE.

Lol. Nooo, the kids are wearing them. I get to wear my grown up clothes still.

Bummer. U think you could get a uniform like that? U know, for "after school"?

I can look into it ;-)

Sweet.

So what are you up to?

Not much, Schmidt's been cleaning/waxing the living room floors all day, so stuck in my room for now.

In your room? Hmm...what are you wearing?

Just a Bears cap.

And nothing else?

Yep.

Coolio :-)

Jess, nobody says coolio anymore.

Well I do. So, just hanging in your room?

Pretty much.

What are you thinking about?

Sports, global warming, the usual.

So, nothing else crossed your mind, sitting there all alone?

Well, one thing...

Tell me...

Something about last night...

Uh huh...

You talk in your sleep, you know.

What? No way Nick, I do not do that.

Yes, you do.

Ok, fine, so what did I say?

_Nick is hot, nick is hot_, you just kept saying it...

Really? I kept saying_ Nick is hot_?

Yep. I mean, I already know, but it's nice to hear.

Interesting. Anything else?

You wanted me to "butter your bread."

LOL, I did not say that!

Yes you did!

NICK!

I am not making this up, I swear LOL

Ok then, so when I get home...do u wanna?

Do I wanna what?

Butter my bread? ;-D

Absolutely.

So, what else you thinking about?

Your back.

My back?

It's really smooth and soft.

Really?

I love running my hands up and down there...

Yeah?

Yeah. You always shiver a little when I do that.

Mmhmm. I like it. What else?

That spot behind my ear you like to kiss.

I do like that spot, drives me a little crazy ;-)

I know, you said so. It feels really good when you kiss me there.

So, what else is good?

Running my tongue up over your knee...

yeah...

up your inner thigh...

mmmmm...

you start trembling...because you know what's coming...

mmmmmmmm...

Jess?

Yeah?

How far is San Francisco?

A few hours.

Yeah, seriously thinking about making that drive.

Lol. No you're not.

Why not?

Cuz you don't have enough gas to make it even halfway.

Oh yeah, that.

So, what are you wearing?

Honestly, a pink robe.

For real?

Yes, I just got out of the shower.

You're killing me here, Jess.

What? I felt dirty, I needed a long, hot shower...

Jess...

It felt really, really nice.

Hmmmm.

Steam, hot water running down my chest...

Gahhh...

Made me think about that one time with you.

I told you, I love the squish you got going on.

I know, I was thinking about that. Wished you were here.

Jess...this is not helping.

Sorry :-/

When you get home, better be ready.

Ready for what?

I think you like to call it_ sexytimes _?

I do, but you don't call it that.

No, not a fan of that word.

So, what do you call it?

_Putting it on ya _?

Nick. That was funny one time, and it really wasn't all that funny then.

Fair enough. Well I don't think people say _bang _any more either, what about just plain _doin' it_?

Whoa, romantic. Can't wait to come home so we can start_ doin' it :-[_

I wanna _make love to you_...how's that?

That's good. Sounds better when you say it out loud though.

Ok, I'll say it to you when you're here.

Ok, then we can have _sexy bang times _and _do it _while you're _putting it on me _;-)

LOL. Ok, that's it. I'm on my way there right now. Probably only take me half a day by bus.

Awesome! Til then I'll be laying here in bed, wearing my pink robe over my squishy breasts.

So turned on right now.

Ha! I know you are.

Jess?

Nick.

I miss you.

I miss you too.


	4. With Rewards

Jess stepped out of the shower, wrapping a large white towel around her trembling body. Two strong arms wrapped around her from behind, and warm lips pressed lingeringly against her neck. She hummed a satisfied hum, and Nick chuckled softly. "I missed you. You wanna get some breakfast?" Nick breathed into her ear and held her tighter.

"Nick, what are we doing?" They had been at this thing now for three weeks. _Thing_ being the word that came to mind when they both thought about it. They didn't know how to define what was happening, so they hadn't even tried. They didn't talk about it. For three weeks, they had acted like normal in their everyday lives, then going at each other like fiends at random moments in between. His room, her room, the car, the bar. One time at a Burger King bathroom, Nick getting her to call him "Humpty," and allowing him to check that one off his bucket list.

Schmidt had gone to a work retreat in San Diego, and Winston was spending the weekend at Daisy's. They had spent the last two days in bed, getting up only when food became a necessity. Or when the idea of a shower was tossed out there, Jess squealing in delight as Nick chased her down the hall to the bathroom. Jess now grabbed his hand and led him out of the loft bathroom and into her bedroom. She sat down on the bed and gave Nick a helpless grin.

He smiled knowingly back at her and sat down beside her, "I mean, this has obviously been great, there's no denying that. I don't know, Jess. I don't really have any words for it. If I had to pin one down I'd say..._Amazing._"

Jess laughed gently and let him take her small hand in his, Nick rubbing his thumb in circles there.

Nick paused, then spoke again quickly, "There's just something that happens to me whenever I'm alone with you now, it's like _magnetic_. It's like a porno, but not...like...cheap or whatever, but more like...hot and sweet...? It's like Jenny McCarthy suddenly decided to start banging Kurt Loder."

Jess looked at him quickly, wide eyed, "Oh man, Nick, do you think that could've actually happened? I really think they could have had a one-night thing, you know, when she made trips back to New York from _Spring Break_. Whoa."

Nick furrowed his brows and shook his head after a minute, trying to mentally press _backspace_ on this conversation. "Wow, I'm sorry Jess, you know I'm not all that great with words. That sounded bad. It's just...it's been...mind blowing. And I haven't been able to stop it...and I don't want to."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek, breaking contact for a moment, then kissing it again longer.

Jess smiled and breathed in, letting it out again slowly, "I know, Nick, it _has_ been amazing. I've been thinking, and I don't think that Schmidt and Winston need to know, at least right now. It just feels like too much pressure. Whatever this _thing_ is, it's working for us, for now. What do you think?" Jess looked sideways at him, and he turned to face her.

"Jess, this has been the most intense, most unexpected thing between us. I think you're right. Maybe it's better kept secret for now. I just don't want you to think that I'm taking this lightly. Just because it's kind of unofficial and secret, I don't want you to feel that I am taking advantage of you. We have been close friends for two years, and that is the most important thing to me."

"Yes, definitely, me too. You are my closest friend next to CeCe, and I don't want anything to mess that up." She moved her free hand to his bare knee and squeezed hard, "But sometimes I just...want you. Really, _really_ badly." She laughed shyly and he pulled her hand up to his lips, catching her gaze as he pressed his lips to her fingers.

"So we have decided...we're friends...who do each other a lot...?" Nick quickly gave her a punchy look, and Jess threw herself back onto the bed and laughed out loud. He laughed with her and laid himself down on his back next to her, keeping her hand in his as they both focused on the ceiling.

Jess paused, then said "I think the term is actually _Friends with Benefits._"

"No, uh uh, I dont like that phrase. Sounds like a bad movie I once saw." Nick twisted his tongue around in his mouth, trying to come up with something that fit them better.

Jess lay next to him, watching him twirl his tongue. "Nick? Can you just not do that thing with your tongue you always do? Do you have any idea what that does to me? You gotta give Little Jess a chance to rest at some point!"

Nick looked over at her, his eyes suddenly animated, "Reaaaally? The tongue thing does it for ya, huh? Duly noted."

Jess groaned and blew out a breath and laughed for a second, then sobered and thought again for minute, "Well, what about _No Strings Attached_? I know for a fact you liked that movie. It had that actor you like playing the leads best friend. He was actually kind of hot." She stifled a laugh when he looked at her sideways.

"How about _Best Friends with Rewards._" He rested his hand gently on her stomach, feeling somewhat satisfied with that one.

Jess stroked the top of his hand lightly, enjoying the giddiness she felt with his body so close to hers. "I like it."

~N/J~

CeCe sat with wide eyes, listening to Jess' latest tale of _Jess and Nick: Animal Style._

"So you're telling me you and Nick spent all weekend sexing each other up, then finally went out shopping only to wind up doing it in a changing room at Penny's? Jess, I have to say, I'm impressed. I didn't know you had it in ya. You've always been the relationship girl. I mean, look how long you stayed with Spencer. This is brand new territory for you. I think this could be good for you. A wild fling, getting nasty with the roommate, but nothing serious." CeCe sat back and crossed her arms, glad to see her friend so happy.

"Yeah well, that's just it, Ceece. This is Nick we're talking about here. We agreed. We agreed that we could do this, keep it a secret, and still stay friends. But how do you keep a close friendship in tact while you're getting freaky all the time? I am serious when I tell you...this has been the most amazing sex of my life. We're like Prince and Apollonia, and I just want him to take me down to Lake Mennatonka and...remember that movie? My mom wouldn't let us watch it cuz, R rated. But then you swiped that VHS copy from the video store? Good times, huh?"

Cece gave her an mildly annoyed look, "Off topic."

"Right, yes. But seriously, CeCe. What do you think about all this?" Jess leaned back onto the sofa and crossed her forearms over her head.

"Listen to me, Jess. Nick has been into you since day one. I told you this before, but you didn't want to hear it then. Now that it's become smack-you-in-the-face obvious, do you think it's really just a sex thing, or could it be something more?"

Jess let out a deep breath. "I don't know. Half the time, around everyone else we act normal, like we've always been, just Nick and Jess, just friends. But then anytime we're alone...it just turns into this crazy, out of control sexual frenzy. It has become physically impossible to be in a room with this man without getting down and dirty. It's incredible. But, we're so different, CeCe. I'm just not sure that an actual relationship would work between us."

CeCe sat up straight on the couch and crossed her legs. "Well, look Jess. I couldn't even keep a sex-only thing going with Schmidt. And you know me, if anyone could've handle that, it would've been me. But eventually, it had to change. I'm just worried that you are going to get hurt."

"I know. But things are so good now. I don't want to mess it up. I think we need to give it some time. Then if something more happens, great." Jess tried to appear confident.

CeCe wasn't so sure. "Yeah, but what if it doesn't?"

Jess looked down and sighed, "I guess if it doesn't, well, then eventually we'll both have to deal with that. I don't want to ruin things by trying to move too fast, you know? Plus what's done is done. Anything that happens now will always be known as _AST_."

"What's _AST_?"

"After Sexy Times."

CeCe covered her eyes with her hand and groaned.

"We're having a good time...a _really_ good time. Like, I'm walking around without panties half the time and fantasizing about what he's going to do to me and when it's gonna happen next," Jess bit her lip and closed her eyes, humming softly.

CeCe laughed, "Yeah, Jess, you've definitely got it bad!"

Jess bit her lip and laughed. "The truth is, I just want to be with him, CeCe. Nick and me, just going with it, just letting ourselves feel, and to act on that without any pressure. I'm just not ready to let that go yet."


	5. It's Not Her

Nick stood at the bar mixing a Bahama Mama for a weary looking forty-something woman wearing a blue Calvin Klein tweed suit and silver stilettos. Not the usual clientelle for Clyde's, but Nick paid little attention as he poured dark and coconut rum into a metal shaker, mixing it with grenadine, banana liquor and orange juice. He shook the contents, poured it into a glass, and garnished with an orange slice and a cherry. Not exactly his type of drink, but he enjoyed the process of creating, and he was damn good at it.

But Nick's mind was occupied elsewhere today. Last night, after a quick but satisfying tryst in Jess' bedroom closet, they had agreed to meet up at the bar today after Jess was finished at school. Nick placed the finished beverage in front of the woman, glancing at the doorway for the tenth time in the last twenty minutes.

_You've got it bad, Miller_.

Nick blew out a slow breath. Two months had passed since he and Jess had ventured into this new territory that had become an insane combination of friendship and wanton lust. He was beginning to get used to the continual feeling of excitement and urgency that he felt whenever Jess was around.

The regular vibe between them now was an underlying fire that was constantly on the verge of ignition, no matter if they were sitting at the table eating their morning cereal, or hastily striping each other naked in the back of her aging Volvo.

That sense of anything-could-happen was just always_ there _now. And instead of cooling off, the sensation just seemed to grow more and more in intensity the more time passed.

Nick looked at the door again as Winston and Schmidt came in with a petite redhead, all of them laughing as they approaced the bar.

"Hey, Nick, looky what we brought you!" Schmidt sat down at the bar with Winston and the young woman.

_Amelia_.

Nick's breath caught. It has been almost eight years since he last saw her, on their last day of college. He remembered the ridiculous crush he had for her, and how it made him do crazy things like playing bad guitar at her dorm room window and making 2 am runs to the _Seven Eleven _to satisfy her sudden urge for _Rocky Road _ice cream.

She slid up onto a stool and smiled brightly at him. "Nick! Wow! It's been so long! So good to see you." Amelia placed her _Coach_ purse on the bar and linked her hands on top of it, casually looking Nick up and down.

She looked the same, she seemed the same. But Nick felt different as he met her eyes and smiled politely. He was surprised to realize that, here and now, that pull that she always had on his heart was gone.

Schmidt looked from Amelia to Nick and grinned, "I got a call from Amelia at lunchtime that she was headed into town for the weekend, and I graciously offered our living room couch. What do ya think, Nick?" He smirked at Nick and wiggled his eyebrows.

Nick shifted his weight nervously from one foot to other and cleared his throat, "Uh, yeah, it has been a long time. It's good to see you again, Amelia. Sure, you can stay with us, that sounds great." He tried to appear enthusiastic, but Nick was a pretty poor actor.

This didn't seem to register with Amelia, who squealed a little and reached across the bar to grab Nick's hand.

"Good! I'm really looking forward to catching up with you guys." She kept her gaze on Nick's strained face and gently squeezed his hand, unaware of his nervousness.

Just then Jess walked in looking a little tired, and joined the guys, moving up onto a stool next to Winston. Nick's eyes met hers and he felt some of the tension fade as she smiled up at him. He smiled back, relaxing a little as he felt their immediate connection.

Winston introduced Amelia to Jess. She shook her hand an exchanged pleasantries, then gave Nick a sideways look as Amelia began to rattle on and on about her new job as a pharmaceutical rep for a regional drug company. Jess knew the history between Nick and Amelia. He could see something guarded show up in her eyes as she looked back down at her hands and then tried to appear interested in the conversation that was going on there.

Later that night, after a dinner of pizza and beer, the guys had set up Amelia on the couch for the night. Nick sat on his bed in his room, trying to get a handle on what he thought was going on in Jess' mind. They hadn't had a chance to be alone since Amelia got there, and he was eager to see Jess and talk to her about things. He could tell that she was uncomfortable with the situation. She knew all about Nick's college mania over Amelia.

Opening his door, he peeked out and looked up and down the hall before quietly turning the knob on Jess' door and moving inside. Jess sat on her bed wearing pink and black polka dotted pajama bottoms and a pink tank. She looked up surprised as Nick closed the door.

"Oh, hey Nick. I thought you were asleep. I was about to go to bed myself." She gave him a small smile and he looked at her evenly, trying to gage her current emotions.

Jess stood up and started casually pacing from her bed to her closet, "So, that's great that Amelia's in town, right? Gives you guys a chance to catch up. Get to know each other again as adults. That's always fun, huh?"

Nick moved over and stood at the foot of her bed, watching as her pace quickened.  
"So, yeah, great. Great for you. I can see why you liked her, she's very pretty. All that wavy red hair and tiny little figure. Probably getting you all hot and bothered again, right? Yeah, well, that's great, Nick. So you...enjoy...that...and I guess I'll see you at breakfast, yeah?"

Nick stood watching her increasing state of frenzy, suddenly realizing what was happening here. He spoke quietly, "Um, Jess. Are you jealous?"

Jess stopped and spun around to face Nick, "Jealous? What? That is ridiculous, Nick. We said we were just having fun, right? We aren't in a relationship. We're just 'roommates who do each other a lot', right? So, that's fine. You want to start things up again with Amelia, and I think that's just wonderful. Good for you guys. Very happy you're getting a second chance at that, so..."

As Jess was rapidly talking, Nick had been slowly approaching her. He now stood in front of her, his hands loosely holding her wrists. He slid his hands up her arms, then down, then back up again, lightly gripping her shoulders. She let her words trail off as she looked up at Nick. She felt foolish that she had allowed herself to fall into this situation. She knew it would have to end sometime. This was it. She braced herself for what she thought would be Nick's last tender words to her. She missed him already.

Nick moved his hand up to cup her cheek. "You know what I like? Your lips." He ran his thumb back and forth across her lower lip. "Soft and pink. I like it when your tongue peeks out and slides around there. Getting them ready."

Nick moved in closer, his breath warm and familiar. Their eyes lowered in unison as his lips gently brushed hers. Jess breathed in quickly, intense desire for this man gripping her entire body. The hollow ache that this would be the last time she would feel his lips on hers was almost more than she could bear.

They drew apart slowly, Nick closing his eyes and resting his forehead on hers.

"Jess, I don't want to be with her. College was a long time ago. I don't have those feelings anymore. Nothing is going to happen between me and Amelia."

Nick moved his hands to her waist and pulled her closer. She began to relax into him, soaking in his words like balm.

He moved his mouth to her ear and whispered, "You see, I kind of have this _amazing_ thing going with my roommate. She is where my focus is right now. Do you understand?"

Jess nodded, letting a slow smile take over her face as she felt his lips begin to trail kisses down her jawline and onto her neck. His hands moved up and down her back, gently caressing her. She moaned deeply and melted against him, sliding her hands up the back of his neck and into his hair. Minutes later their clothes were strewn around the room, their bodies locked tightly together and moving in a passionate rhythm under her covers.

The next morning, Nick made his way toward the kitchen. Amelia sat on the edge of the couch, her bags packed next to her. She went over to the counter and stood sideways beside him.

"Good morning, Nick. I would ask you how you slept, but I pretty much got a good idea of that on my way to the bathroom around midnight last night."

Nick's eyes widened and she smiled up at him and softly sighed. "Nobody knows, do they? It's okay, Nick, I won't say anything. But I think it's time for me to go."

He looked at her in surprise, "You're leaving? You just got here last night, Amelia. Are you sure? Where will you stay?"

"I already made reservations at a hotel, and I'm on my way there now. My apartment will be ready to move into by next weekend. It's fine, Nick. I have to be honest, I came here expecting to try to start something up with you. I knew how you felt about me in college, and I was hoping we could maybe use that as a jumping off point. Good guys are hard to come by, Nick. Believe me, I've looked. Lately I've been remembering how sweet you were in college, how you always tried to take care of me, put me first. I think I took advantage of that at the time, and I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

Nick laughed softly, "It's okay, Amelia. College seems like another lifetime ago. But you're right, I do have something with Jess. We're not sure exactly what it is, but...I'm happy."

Amelia smiled at the light-hearted look he now carried. This was a new Nick Miller. "I'm glad, Nick. Jess is a lucky girl. I really hope you guys make it to something lasting and good. I can see you're already well on your way."


	6. Jessie

"Jessie..." She felt warm lips on her cheek. On her chin. On her lips. She instinctually pressed her lips back onto his, breathing in slowly. As they drew apart, she opened her eyes to a close up version of him, which was actually her favorite way in which to view his full, hot mouth. She watched as he did that twisty thing he does with his tongue. Her breath caught, as it usually did when she watched his tongue absently working in that way. Their eyes gradually met, the early morning moment intense, and a little hazy.

"Did you just call me 'Jessie'?" Her face was even and unreadable, and he looked down briefly before answering.

"Yeah. Why? You don't like that? Sorry, it wasn't intentional, it just kind of came out."

"No, it's just...you never called me that before. I like it. You can call me that if you want to."

Jess blushed a little, enjoying a new feeling of closeness with him at his use of this endearment. In the years since they had met, become roommates, become friends and then close friends, and now lovers, he had never called her Jessie.

Strangely, she could't rememeber anyone ever calling her by that name. But now he had said it, and it was tender and sweet and sexy at the same time.

"Okay." He slid his hands lower under the covers and rested them on her hips, his thumbs gently stroking her there. His mouth trailed slow kisses along her jawline and up to her ear. She felt his hot breath on her ear before his lips closed over her lobe, nibbling softly.

He decided to try it again.

"Jessie."

She let out a low moan immediately after he said it. She had to admit, it was doing sudden and amazing things for her. She felt an ache beginning in her abdomen, and slid her foot up his calf, linking her leg around his knee.

He noticed the way her body was responding and he felt the beginnings of a slow burn building, taking over his lower half. His hands went up to her waist, and he gripped her firmly there, pulling her body against him.

She felt his arousal and pushed herself up against it, silently telling him what she wanted. Message received, he undressed her, discarding her silky pajamas over the side of the bed. He rolled over and pulled off his boxers, moving swiftly back on top of her supple body.

"Say it again, please Nick. I want you to say it to me again." she practically begged him, her breath shallow, her voice raw and wanting. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, anxiously waiting. He pressed his forehead to hers, now breathing heavily. He moved so that his face was directly in front of her, his eyes locked with hers.

"Jessie..." He crashed his mouth down into hers, his arms going around her in a passionate embrace. She let him take her, desire overwhelming her completely. Their bodies moved in a familiar dance, rocking back and forth, sliding up and down, the tension building until it was finally released in a mutual moment of euphoric bliss.

They lay in each other's arms, their breathing returning to a normal rhythm. She rested her head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. Never had she felt this close to him. What was happening between them now was more than just quickies in the shower and stolen nights of random passion. She felt a nervous excitement at this new and somewhat frightening thought. She knew the word that was circling in her head and her heart would change everything between them.

He lay beneath her, enjoying the feel of her steady breath on his chest. He ran his hands up and down her back and in gentle circles around her soft, smooth skin. He was awestruck. Passion was never lacking between them. These past few months had proven that their physical connection was intense and strong. But something more was taking him by surprise now as he laid next to this quirky, crazy, beautiful and amazing woman. He didn't know when or how it had happened, but he knew it with absolute certainty now. With every beat of his captured heart. With every breath that he breathed. With every fiber of his being.

He loved her.


	7. True Love

It was late morning, and Nick lay in Jess' bed, anxiously waiting for her to wake up. After their passionate encounter earlier, Jess had fallen back into a deep sleep. But Nick stayed wide awake, not even trying to fight the truth of what was suddenly so obvious.

He loved Jess. He was in love with Jess. He was crazy, out of his mind, I'm-not-panic-moonwalking-away-from-this-one in love. With Jess.

And he wanted to tell her...and he didn't want to tell her. He was bursting to let her know how he felt, but terrified at what her reaction might be. Obviously, things had started out casually between them when they jumped into their current "with benefits" situation. But, was it ever really just casual?

Two years ago this woman had come into his life, and he had not been the same since. He had admitted to himself his attraction to her from the very first day in the loft. That was the whole reason for the No-Nail Oath. To stop himself from doing something stupid like sleeping with her, becoming attached to her and then driving her away.

Is that what he had been doing these last few months? Starting up a physical thing, growing more and more connected to her, and potentially causing a major rift in the loft with a love confession that could ruin everything he had with Jess?

The truth was, there was something between them from the beginning, a strange kind of chemistry that neither talked about, but both felt was there.

Yeah, her special brand of crazy was distracting and maddening sometimes. And yeah, they argued, a lot. She was often frustrated with his grumpy-old-men attitude toward life, and his distrust of people in general.

But he was there for her when she needed him after her painful breakup from Spencer. And she was there when he thought he had cancer, becoming someone that he knew would have stood by him through it all, had the situation went another way.

He encouraged her to keep trying when she found herself suddenly unemployed and uncertain with where her life was going. And she had held his hand as he stood emotionally vulnerable in a chuch after his father had passed away.

A radical idea hit him as he lay there in the bed of this breathtaking woman, watching the rise and fall of her chest and listening to her breathe.

He had been in love with her for far longer than just a few months.

It was suddenly as if she were his source of oxygen, the heart that beat on the inside of him, keeping him alive and breathing every day. He had been falling in love with her since the moment he first looked into her bright blue eyes and said, "I'm Nick Miller."

He tentatively reached over and brushed a stray lock of hair to the side of her face, gently tucking it behind her ear and then tracing the soft curve of her earlobe. He loved her so much, he literally ached inside.

He laughed to himself at the craziness of it all. Even though he was generally cynical about life, he had always craved love. He wanted a real relationship with someone, "sandwiches and sex," and all that went along with it. He had opened himself up to love with Caroline, then with Julia.

Each time, when things didn't work out he remembered saying to himself, "Love is a myth." But it was just a cover for his aching heart. He still believed in love. He just hadn't let himself in on the fact that love was already alive and well, and living across the hall from him.

He leaned closer to Jess, resting his head on the pillow beside her, memorizing the details of her face. But, who was he kidding, her features had been branded in his mind long, long ago.

He was amazed that he was not currently experiencing a classic Nick Miller freak-out at the magnitude of his emotions. He was genuinely surprised by a strange sense of calm that was surrounding him now. He gently drifted to sleep, allowing himself to just lay there and feel the amazing way that he felt right now.

~N/J~

Jess woke up and looked over at the man gently snoring beside her. This morning had been incredible, and she knew that something was different between them now. The way that he softly caressed her body like it was the first time he had ever touched her. His eyes so focused when he locked them onto hers, that she almost had to look away, overwhelmed with the naked intensity in them.

Something about the way he made love to her had touched her heart and made him a permanent resident there. No matter what happened between them now, she would always have a deep connection to this man. But there was still a question circling around the edges of her mind.

As she lay there, staring at the ceiling, trying to make sense of all the emotions swirling around inside her, she had to admit that she already knew the answer.

He loved her. And she loved him.

Last night was a living, breathing testament to that truth, and there was no denying it. She drew in a sudden deep breath at revelation, and felt immediate terror. She had been in love before. Or so she had thought.

She had spent six years with Spencer, always believing that she loved him, and expecting to start a family and have a life with him. Then he had been unfaithful, creating a seed of mistrust in her heart that reared it's ugly head in every relationship she had been involved in since.

She had broken things off with Paul when his feelings had gotten too intense to deal with. And she had refused to reunite with Sam after she had opened herself up to him, only to be met with rejection.

Jess sat up quickly, then glanced at Nick to see if the sudden movement had woken him. Nick still lay sleeping, the look on his face so peaceful, it made her heart ache. She started to feel a tightness in her chest, her breathing faster and faser, her heart racing.

She slid out of bed and darted around the room, grabbing random clothes and two different shoes, thew them on, and scampered out of the room and out the front door. On the way down in the elevator, she leaned her head against the wall, trying to catch her breath.

_Relax, Jess. This is just anxiety. You're fine. Just breathe_.

The elevator dinged and she ran out the front door and to her car. She didn't know where she was going, she just needed to get some air, and some perspective on what was happening.

Outside Dave lay across the hood of her car. Jess didn't have time for this.

"Move it, Dave! I gotta go! Now!" Dave immediately jumped up and fell on his side next to the curb, grunting and grumbling about how hard he works every day and how he deserves to sleep in.

Jess ignored him, started the engine and drove off into the afternoon sun.

~N/J~

Nick tapped out a third text to Jess, pausing a moment before hitting _Send._ It wasn't like her to just disappear without telling him, or at least leaving him a note or a text. The fact that she still hadn't answered him was making him crazy with worry.

He tried calling CeCe and just got her voicemail. He racked his brain, trying to think of anywhere else she might have gone.

_What if you scared her_.

The thought circled in his head like a shark through choppy waters, ready to pounce on his newfound emotions toward Jess. He knew that he loved her, but how was she feeling right now?

Things had been pretty intense between them last night. It was likely she had zoned in on what he was thinking and bolted. He laughed a humorless laugh at the irony.

Jess was the one who ran_._

Everyone knew Nick's long history of running away whenever things got tough. The idea of Jess freaking out never occurred to him before, but as one hour turned into two, and then three, he couldn't take it anymore.

Nick grabbed his keys and ran out the door, determined to keep looking til he found her.

~N/J~

Jess sat alone on a park bench, trying to calm herself down. She had never had a panic attack before. She leaned back, trying to convince herself to relax.

_It's fine, Jess. You just flipped out after this morning_.

Nick Miller had fallen in love with her. And she was in love with him. She was still having touble believing that all this was real, that it was actually happening.

A Chinese man wearing track pants, a sweatshirt and a plain blue cap came shuffling down the sidewalk and sat down beside her. Jess moved her hands off of her forehead and peeked to the side, looking up into his serene face.

"Hello. Nice day, huh. Listen, I don't mean to be rude, but I'd really like to be alone right now. I'm kinda going through something, and I just need some space to think, okay?"

Jess sat still, expecting the man to get up and leave. He didn't. He just sat there, smiling calmly at her. Maybe he didn't speak English? She gave him a polite smile back and cleared her throat, looking down at the ground.

After a few minutes, she brought her eyes back up to him. He still sat beside her, as if he was waiting for her to tell him...something.

"It's my roommate," Jess blurted out finally. "We've been really good friends for a couple of years now, and recently, things kind of changed. Like we're still friends and we still hang out, it's just now we sometimes hang out...naked."

Jess focused on him more closely, expecting to see judgement on his face, but finding none. Understanding and acceptance, that's what she was getting from him now. He silently encouraged her to continue.

"I know, crazy, right? Anyone who has ever seen a movie knows friends cannot stay just friends when sex is involved. It just started so suddenly, and we just kept it going. I didn't want it to end. And the more time that passed, and the more time we spent together, things just changed. They have to, right? We're human beings, we change, we evolve, right?"

The man looked at her with compassion in his narrow eyes, and Jess noticed that she was breathing more normally and felt calmer. She felt like she was in the middle of an amazing therapy session.

"So now, I've realized...I love him. And I'm pretty sure that he loves me too. But I'm scared. What if things don't work out? What if HE freaks out and runs and can't handle these emotions any better than I have? My past relationships have given me trust issues, basically. I just... I don't want to lose him."

Somehow, she felt free with this stranger in the park, as if she had known him her whole life. He just sat and lent an ear, which was just what she needed right now. She sat quietly and let herself think about how good things with her and Nick had become. In her other relationships she had thought she knew what love was.

But this was something entirely different. She had never felt about anyone the way she felt about Nick. What she had with those other men was good and honest...but it was not true love.

True love was a man who knew exactly where she was heading when she had driven to a school parking lot to say goodbye, following her there to comfort her. It was a man who was terrified of haunted houses, bravely entering one anyway, putting his fears aside to stop her from getting emotionally blindsided.

It was a three hour drive to and from Ikea, and homemade Old-Fashioned cocktail and an alter-ego named Pepperwood who would behave ridiculously but heroicly, stopping at nothing just to keep her safe.

Jess sat and just let the tears fall. She truly loved this man. This wonderful man who would do anything to make her happy.

She belonged with him.

She took a deep, shaky breath and laughed a little to herself. She knew what was next now. She had to find Nick.

Suddenly Nick appeared in the distance, and the moment he saw her, he broke into a run in her direction. "Jess, I've been looking all over for you! What's going on? Why are you here with Tran? "

Nick reached out and patted Tran on the arm, "Really good to see you, buddy."

Then Nick noticed Jess' tear-stained face and immediately sat down beside her, sliding his hand around her waist, "Jess? What's wrong? Why are you crying, honey?"

Fresh tears came to her eyes at his tenderly spoken words. Her heart ached to tell him everything.

"Nick, I need to tell you something." She shifted so she was looking at him directly as he stared questioningly into her eyes.

"What is it, Jess? What's going on?" Nick felt his heart catch at her obvious pain. He would have done anything in that moment to take that pain away from her.

"What's going on is...I love you." Jess watched him carefully through blurry eyes, waiting for his response. Nick's face froze, his eyes capturing hers and holding them in a suspended moment of intense fervor.

"You love me?" Nick said it out loud once, but it didn't register. He needed to say it again. "You love me." Nope, that didn't do it, either. One more time, Nick.

"You love me."

Jess' apprehension began to fade as she saw the slow grin begin to emerge and break out into a smile so wide, she could hardly believe this was the face of Nick Miller she was looking into.

She watched as actual tears appeared in his chocolate brown eyes. He let out a gentle laugh mixed with a cough. He reached over and took her hands, encompassing them into his large, warm grasp.

He looked back up into her eyes, laughing again, and she let herself laugh back at the image of the man she loved, completely overcome by what he was happening here.

He leaned forward, moving his face closer and closer to hers, stopping when their noses gently brushed together. He breathed in quickly, and then slowly exhaled before saying what his heart had been screaming at him to say for the past five hours.

"Jess...I love you too." He looked into her eyes again for a moment before covering her mouth with his. They both stood up, Nick's hands sliding around her back to caress her, Jess' hands moving up to wind tightly around his neck.

Jess relaxed as she felt all her fears dissolve. This was true love. This was meant to be. She knew it without a doubt now.

Tran got up and walked away, unnoticed. A knowing look on his serene face. His work here was done.

One image appeared in Nick's mind as he held the love of his life and kissed her like the world was about to end. Yeah, it was from a movie they had just watched last week, but that didn't make it any less real.

It was a movie featuring giants, princesses, fake pirates and perfect breasts. At the end, a man in black stroked the cheek of a woman in a white gown before he gave her a kiss deemed "the most passionate, and the most pure."

Nick felt confident enough to mentally narrate his own moment.

_This kiss left that one far, far behind_.


	8. Coming Out

"Guys, you made it! So glad you're here. Come on in and get yourselves a drink."  
Sadie welcomed Nick, Jess, Schmidt and CeCe into the foyer of her new L.A. home. Jess gave Sadie a quick hug. "Thanks for inviting us. It's just beautiful Sadie. So happy for you guys."

"Yeah, well, Melissa and I decided after the baby turned 2, we needed more space, and some place permanent to raise a family." Sadie led them into the spacious great room. It was decorated in soft brown and cream colored tones. A handful of Sadie's friends and coworkers sat around on the large sectional, talking, drinking cocktails and eating hors d'oeuvres.  
"Yeah, guys, I'll be at the bar. Time to get my rum on." Schmidt grabbed CeCe's hand and pulled her in the direction of the large ornate cherry oak bar in the corner of the massive living space.

"So you wanna get a drink?" Nick looked over at Jess and smiled. She grinned shyly back. "What, Jess?"

She giggled and looked down. "I don't know. It's just the first time we've gone anywhere besides the loft, you know, together. I know no one knows we're together yet, but we do. It just...it feels really nice"

Nick smiled back at her before glancing around and then leaning closer to her ear. "I wish I could hold your hand. Does that sound too sappy to say?"

Jess blushed and looked down. "No. It sounds really nice, actually."

Nick moved Jess back into the confined space of the foyer and pushed her gently against the wall. "I really wanna kiss you." He leaned in and brushed his nose against her cheek. Jess took in a quick breath at his closeness. "Nick, someone will see."

"I don't care anymore. I know we talked about keeping this just between us for a while, but it's getting more complicated. And it's killing me to stay away from you just to keep people from knowing. I love you, Jess. I want to be with you, and I want people to know I want to be with you."

Jess stared into his chocolate brown eyes. She felt like she could drown in their warmth. "Nick...are you sure?"

He smiled and moved toward her lips, capturing them with his. He gently sucked on her bottom lip, very slowly releasing it. He leaned his forehead onto hers. "I'm sure."

Jess laughed gently. "So, we're doing this then?"

He pulled back and looked into her eyes again and winked, "Let's do this."

He took her hand in his and they walked back into the living room, and over to the bar where Schmidt and CeCe were already three drinks in.

"Looks like you guys have got some catching up to do." Schmidt grabbed a beer from a nearby ice bucket and set it in front of Nick. He glanced down and saw Jess' hand tightly grasping Nicks, both of them looking back and forth from CeCe to Schmidt, and then at each other, smiling like idiots.

Schmidt stopped mid-gulp and slowly set his drink on the bar. "Uh, guys? What. the. hell?"

Nick looked at Schmidt evenly. "Me and Jess, we're kind of together now. Well, not just kind of. We are. Together. What I mean is...we're a couple now."

Schmidt's face froze into a blank stare. CeCe put her hand on his arm, trying to bring him out of his sudden trance. "Schmidt? Schmidt? You okay?"

Schmidt shook his head and looked at Nick again. "So, you're a couple now? Like, boyfriend/girlfriend? Like lovahs? Doing the horizontal boogie? Riding the baloney pony?"

Nick scrunched his face up and Jess hid hers in his arm, groaning. "Schmidt you really need a portable JAR."

Jess looked back at Schmidt, hoping to appeal to his romantic side. She knew he had one. He had fought for CeCe and won her over. "Look, Schmidt, it started out very suddenly and yeah, at first it was just sex. Like really good, really amazing...like really really incredible..."  
CeCe gently interruped "Jess. We get it, it rocked your world. Keep going."

"Right, sorry. So it was just sex at first. But the more time we spent together...we just...we fell in love. We're in love." Jess looked at Nick and he winked back at her, squeezing her hand tighter.

Schmidt paused for a few second, and then started laughing. First he giggled, then he chuckled louder, then laughed a deep belly laugh that seemed to go on and on.

Nick, Jess and CeCe all looked at him carefully, slowly joining him, laughing along, not quite sure if this was a happy or a sick, twisted kind of laugh.

His laughter died down and he looked from Jess to Nick. "Guys. This is actually great. No more than great, this is fantastic. I found my indian goddess, and I couldn't be happier that you guys finally got it over with and hopped the trolly to pleasure town. Really, mazeltav to you both."

Nick laughed nervously, putting his arm around Jess, feeling the need to protect her from what he thought was clearly Schmidt about to lose it.

"No you guys, I mean it. I can see you still don't believe me, but I am genuinely happy for you. So, I'm thinking next June would be best, but if you all want to do it sooner, we could probably work it out."

Nick glared at him, "Work what out Schmidt?"

"The wedding, silly. Now I can definitely steer you in the right direction as far as wedding coordinators are concerned, but the first thing you need to do is pick out a dress. Believe me, it can take months to get the alterations right on that."

Jess reached over the bar and grabbed his shoulders, "Schmidt! We are not getting married. Okay? We just told each other we loved each other. We're just starting a relationship."

Schmidt looked surprised. "Wow, sorry guys. I just got a vibe and I went with it. So sorry. But very happy you guys are together. And just a heads up, we will be drafting a roommate agreement in the next several days that will outline what is and is not acceptable loft behavior. Especially as relates to amorous activities in the bathroom, kitchen and all common areas of the loft. Cheers, guys!"

Schmidt tipped his shot glass up and swallowed the entire contents, choking and spurting immediately after.

Jess took the glass of wine CeCe held out to her and clinked glasses with her, laughing at Schmidt's crazy ridiculousness. "Yeah, this is gonna be fun."


	9. No Leaving

"So guys, what'd I miss last night? Anything good?" Winston stood in the kitchen pouring cream in his coffee. Because of his promotion to evenings at the radio station, he had had to miss Sadie's housewarming party the night before.

Jess and Nick looked at each other, both obviously surprised that neither of them had even thought about bringing Winston up to speed.

Jess sat down at the island and took a breath. "Actually Winston, there is something we need to tell you."

Winston slowly answered her matter of factly, "Is it that you and Nick have been secretly hitting it for the past three months? Or the fact that you guys are in loooove now?" He contined to focus on stirring his coffee before picking it up for a sip, his eyes resting on Jess calmly.

Jess' mouth hung open, and she stuttered slightly, "Uh, well, yeah. So thats...you...Winston, how did you know?"

He laughed softly as he moved his gaze from Jess to Nick. "How could I not know? My room is right next to yours, Nick. This is an old building. Ain't no soundproof walls around here. I've known pretty much the whole time."

Nick laughed nervously, "Hey sorry, man. I know we should've told you sooner, it was just really complicated for a while. But if you knew, why didn't you ever say anything?

Winston thought a minute, "Hmm, well, I guess I just figured if you wanted me to know, you'd tell me. Plus I wasn't really all that eager to begin discussing with you how amazing and mind blowing the sex was, since, as I touched upon earlier, I could basically hear everything."

Jess blushed hotly and covered her face with her hands. "Ughhh. So embarrassing. So sorry, Winston, really. We'll try to keep it down from now on, I promise."

"No need, I bought noise cancelling headphones months ago. You guys can go nuts, all night long. I won't hear a thing." Winston reached over and punched Nick lightly on the arm. "But as for being in love now, that was brought to my attention by this."

Winston took a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and gave it to Jess. She opened it and read,

_Dear Fellow Roommate,_

_It has come to my attention that two of our loft members have recently begun engaging in coital activities within private and communal sections of the area known hereafter as "4D." It is my duty as acting loft president to inform you of this new development. After speaking with each party, respectfully known as Jessica Day and Nicholas Miller, I have also been informed of their recent confession of love and subsequent relationship status change from strictly sexual partners to "boyfriend/girlfriend." An addended roommate agreement will be forthcoming, and will outline acceptable loft practices between the above mentioned parties._

_Have a good evening, and godspeed,_

_Schmidt, M. Comm, B.A. Theater Studies_

Nick let out a deep breath. "Wow. Okay, so you know now. We have decided to move things to the next level. We love each other. We're in love. Like crazy, out of control, mind bending..."

Winston stopped him there, "Love. Yeah. I get it." He smiled at Jess til the tense look on her face moved into a slow grin. "Really happy for you guys. I actually thought this might happen a long time ago, you know, when Jess first moved in. I kind of sensed something there. You were both vulnerable from break-ups and honestly, I wouldn't have been surprised. But you took your time and became close friends first. That's great. Makes things richer, huh? So happy..."

Winston's tone had begun to nosedive about halfway in to a gradually more and more somber tone. By the end he was full on sobbing, gasping for air as he spoke.

Jess ran over to him and put her arm around him, "Winston? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Nick walked quickly beside Jess and stood concerned and a little freaked out at Winston's breakdown.

"Yeah, guys, Daisy's been cheating on me. I just found out last night. I went over to her place after work to surprise her. Instead she surprised me with the 6 foot 5 inch naked dude walking around her living room. He didn't even try to hide himself, or his size 15 doozier."

He broke off into another round of sobs, Jess putting her arms around him and gave Nick a sideways look. _What do we do now?_

His eyes widened a little and he shrugged his shoulders. _I don't know, you tell me!_

Jess spoke softly, "Winston, I'm so so sorry. That's awful. She didn't deserve you. You are a sensitive, caring person who deserves way better than that. Who needs her, right?"

Winston stood up and wiped his eyes, heading for his room. Nick slapped him on the back on his way out. "That's tough, man. Really sorry. Keep your head up, man."

Jess went and sat down on the couch, NIck following behind, sitting next to her. She took his hand and squeezed it gently. "I feel so bad for him. I know what it's like to be cheated on, there's no worse feeling than believing you can trust somone, and then having that trust just shatter to pieces." She looked down at their hands, suddently getting quiet at the memories of two years ago, after Spencer had done basically the same thing to her, when she thought her life was coming to an end.

Nick brought her hand up to his mouth and waited for her eyes meet his before pressing a slow, sweet kiss against her knuckles. "You know you can trust me, right? I'd never, _never_ hurt you like that Jess."

She smiled into his warm brown gaze. "I know." She breathed in a shaky breath at the intensity of his stare.

He paused for moment, then made himself say what had been in the back of his mind since the day he told her how he felt. "Is that...was that why you ran that day?"

Jess quickly looked up at him, "No! It's not...I just...I know you'd never hurt me, Nick. It's not that. It was just the idea of moving into that stage of a relationship again. I haven't been there in two years. What I had with Spencer, it was love, but not true, long lasting love. When I realized that's the way I love you, it just freaked me out that there might possibly be a day when, for whatever reason, I could lose that."

Nick took her face in both his hands and kissed her hard, passion encircling them both, threatening to take them both under. He slowly pulled away and focused on her intently. "I'm not going anywhere, Jess. I love you. More than I ever thought was possible. This doesn't just happen everyday, you know." He kissed her cheek, stoking his thumb across it over and over.

"I know, but Nick, there are no guarantees. How are you so sure that one day all this won't just...end." She leaned forward and press her head against his chest. He circled his arms around her tightly.

"Jess, honey, listen to me. I don't have any guarantees about life. Hell, my father just died and I really didn't expect that. There are not a lot of sure things in life. But one thing I'm sure of is that I want to be with you. I know we're not there, yet, but I want to marry you one day. Have a couple of noisy kids."

Jess laughed into his flannel shirt, and he held her tighter. "Wow, I actually got to hear Nick Miller say the M word without panic moonwalking away. "

"There's no leaving, Jess. No leaving. Not anymore."


	10. You're the One

"So, he said he wants to marry you?"

Jess sat with her legs crossed on CeCe's bed, running her fingers back and forth across the taupe colored 1500 threat count Egyptian cotton duvet. "Wow! I cannot believe how awesome this feels, Ceece!"

"Isn't it incredible? Schmidt bought me all new bedding. He said he wasn't going slumming underneath inferior material when he stayed over. I'd have lopped off his manhood while he slept if my bed wasn't so damn comfortable now."

Jess quietly nodded, her thoughts returning to what they had been discussing for the last hour. "So, Nick. Yes, he said he wanted to marry me...someday. It wasn't a proposal or anything official. We were talking about what happened with Spencer, and somehow the conversation ended up at marriage and children. He wants it, all of it, with me."

Jess's grin grew wider as she remembered the feel of Nick's arms around her last night. She had never felt more taken in, more owned. Like her body and her heart belonged to only him.

"And how do you feel about all that? Do you see a future with Nick?" CeCe tilted her head sideways.

"Of course, yeah, I've thought about it. But it was always in an alternate universe/fantasy land kind of way. Even when we were just casual, it crossed my mind. But Nick has always been set in his ways, and I guess I just thought that, if that ever happened, it'd be like years from now, when my eggs are all dried up and Nick is on his 36th draft of _Z is for Zombies_." Jess rested her arms on her knees.

"Yeah, but Jess, you guys have only been together-together for a short time. Do you really think Nick has changed that much?"

"No. I don't think he has changed. And I don't want him to. He is still the same man who hasn't filed his taxes in years and thinks banks are all secretly run by Lady Gaga."

"Lady ga...what?"

"Apparently when she had surgery earlier this year she had a golden wheelchair. He said that's 'proof positive'...but anyway, no, Nick is still Nick." Jess back against the pillow and laughed under her breath.

"So, why do you seem so happy about that? I mean, look at you Jess, this is worse than Jake Ryan in 10th grade. I've never seen you so crazy about someone before."

Jess looked at CeCe and laughed, "Oh man, I forgot about Jake. Remember when I climbed that really big tree next to his bedroom window to try to talk to him?"

CeCe laughed out loud at the memory, "Yeah, and then you fell and broke your leg, and I had to drag you to the hospital four blocks away. He did sign your cast though."

Jess giggled under hear breath, and sighed. "Nick is always going to be the slightly grumpy, conspiracy-theorist who wants to patent all his crazy money-making ideas before someone famous steals them from him."

Jess looked at CeCe and shrugged slightly. "But he's also the man who makes sure I have a hot cup of tea waiting for me when I wake up in the morning. And the guy who stuck his finger in a cigarette lighter so he could feel the same pain I was feeling. He takes care of me. He puts me first. He makes sure I know everyday how beautiful he thinks I am and how lucky he feels to be with me. He literally tells me that. But more than that, he shows me. And I am so, so happy, CeCe."

"Wow Jess, I don't know what to say. You know, after Spencer, I knew you'd bounce back. I knew it was hard on you. But when you told me you were moving in with three guys you met on Craigs list, I thought you had seriously gone off the deep end for a while. I've been there since the beginning, and I kind of secretly appointed myself your guardian against those guys. Just wanted to make sure you were safe. I saw how Nick was into you, and then I saw how he became your friend, then someone you relied on and trusted. I don't know if you realize this, but you've been taking care of each other pretty much from when you first met."

Jess smiled a wide smile and spoke from her heart. "I've never felt a love like this before. It's raw sometimes, but it's true. And do I want to spend the rest of my life living inside something that amazing? Yes. And I don't care if it's tomorrow or five years or ten years from now. We belong together. And that's good enough for me, for now."

~N/J~

"Hey Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm cold." Jess turned her head to the side on Nick's pillow and raised her eyebrows at him expectantly.

Nick lifted the covers slightly and scooted closer, moving his body up against her back, his arms circling her. He leaned his head down on her shoulder and breathed out a slow, satisfied breath. "How's that?"

"Mmmm...good." Jess couldn't help the giddy smile that appeared, feeling his chest pressed firmly against her back, his warm breath on her neck. She rested her arms on his, feeling so safe in his embrace. She had never felt his safe with anyone.

Nick's ipod shuffled randomly on the table next to them. She had encouraged him to get one when he got his father's money. It was one of the very few justifiable buys he made with the money. Bags full of novelty items, shoes that were the wrong size and a subscription to the Hickory Farms Sausage of the Month club filling out the rest of his purchases.

She was a little surprised by some of the songs he had downloaded, not realizing that Nick liked a wide variety of music, a lot of it to her taste.

_After the Storm _played softly.

"I used to play this song a lot, before we got together."

You did?"

"Yeah. All those months, after we first kissed, when we were trying to figure this thing out. And I didn't know if it was going to work, or if you even wanted it to. It made me believe that we might actually have a shot."

"I wanted it to work. I just didn't know how you felt. To be fair, I wasn't really offerring anything up about how I felt, either. I was scared, I guess. Afraid that I'd put myself out there again, and be disappointed."

"Me too. But we're better at it now. I mean, look at me, Nick Miller, talking about feelings!" Nick laughed and Jess smiled, relieved they were able to put aside their fears and go for it.

Jess laid still under the covers. She had always wondered about something. She gathered up her courage and took a deep breath.

"Nick? About that first kiss...we never really talked about it before. What made you want to kiss me that night?" Jess bit her lip and waited, a little nervous about what his response would be.

Nick pauses a minute. "I've always wanted to kiss you, Jess. If we're being completely honest here. That day you first showed up and sat in that red and white dress with the thin straps. Your hair hanging in curls down your back. Your amazing blue eyes..."

Jess turned in his arms, leaned on his arm and looked into his calm brown eyes. "You wanted to kiss me then? But you were so gruff and seemed so closed off. I thought we'd be doing good just to be able to live in the same space together. I had no idea you felt that way then."

"Yeah, well...I felt a lot of things I didn't let on about."

"Like when?"

Nick stopped and thought back to her first year in the loft. "That night at that wedding, where you pretended to be my girlfriend. You were really beautiful that night. When we sat together in that photo booth. You smelled like flowers. I don't know, I just remember feeling...good. I know I was drunk, but I was still a little overpowered by how close we were sitting."

"Really? I like talking about this stuff. This is fun! What else you got?" Jess grabbed his arms and squeezed excitedly. Nick laughed at her sudden enthusiasm.

"Ummm...what about when we spent that night on the beach, when we thought I might have cancer."

"You were drunk that night too, if I remember. Or well, on pain pills. You didn't seem to remember anything you said the next morning."

"Right. Well, I remember more about that night than you knew. I remember saying that I liked you. I wanted to kiss you then too."

Jess giggled, remembering sitting up with Nick until probably two or three in the morning, listening to his babbling. Most of what he said nonsense. But they had bonded in a new way that night. When she fell asleep on his jacket on the beach, she remembered feeling safe lying next to him.

"I stayed awake the rest of the night and watched you sleep."

Jess looked down at his chest, watching it rise and fall. Her breathing suddenly becoming more shallow.

"And that night in the desert...when you told me you'd be okay because we met. No one had ever said anything like that to me before." He reached down and lifted her chin, bringing her eyes up to meet his. "I knew we had something special between us then. I never told you, but I always considered you my best friend after that night."

Jess scanned his eyes. Always before, there would be something in them that she couldn't explain. Something that was hidden behind an invisible wall. But now, she found herself getting lost in his deep brown gaze. She felt like she could see much further into the real Nick Miller than she ever had before.

Jess swallowed, her voice coming out shaky. "And...did you want to kiss me then?"

Nick answered her by moving his lips across hers slowly, his tongue sliding between her rosy lips and tangling with hers.

They broke apart gently, and Jess laid her head on his chest, listening to the strong, steady beat of his heart.

This was it. This was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

Jess slowly fell asleep, letting her mind fill with images of roses and white gowns and scattered rice.


	11. The List

**So, I'm considering wrapping this story up soon. Or I could do some more chapters, veering in another direction. What do you think? Please REVIEW and let me know your thoughts/ideas. Thanks!**

Nick signed and dated at the bottom of the page.

"Alright Mr. Miller. Looks like your checking account is all ready to go."

Nick let out a pent up breath.

_Checking account_. That was first on the list. Now that that was taken care of, he moved to the next item.

_Take care of debt_. This one was gonna be a pain in the ass. It was going to go against the very core of his nature to suck up to bill collectors and basically beg for waived fees and payment plans. But he could do it. He had to do it.

Number three. _Second job_. That's where he was headed now. Getting out of bed at 8 am every day was new and annoying territory for him. He walked into the employee entrance at the factory and punched his time card. 9:06. Damn. They were gonna start docking his checks if he kept being late every day. He was working part time from 9 to 3 on an auto part assembly line. It was easy, repetitive work, but extremely monotonous. By the time 3 pm rolled around, he was ready to go work in a place that served hard liquor.

He would usually finish up at the bar around 1 am, go home and crash for approximately six hours, then do it all over again the next day. He was tired, and Jess was beginning to notice.

Jess didn't know about the list. Not yet. He would get up after she left the loft every day and be home again before she got there. He was trying to get his life in some semblance of order before letting her know his plans.

He knew she loved him. He knew she wanted him for who he was. He just wanted to show her that he cared about their future.

Item number four. _Savings Account_. This is where the rest of money from his second job was going to be put. He would open that one up after he got his next paycheck. It was this account that was going to pay for the fifth a most important reason for entire list.

_Ring_.

His goal, save enough for a ring, and then a deposit on a new apartment.

Then he was going to ask her the question he had been dying to ask since the day he knew he loved her.

But first things first. He knew he needed to tell her about the job. He was coming home from work so exhausted every night, Jess was starting to worry about his health. He would fall into bed with her and immediately crash. They hadn't had any time alone together for the last week.

He was aware Jess knew that almost an entire week without sex meant that something was definitely up. Jess had laid next to Nick and watched him every night that week, his eyebrows furrowed even in his sleep, his mouth breathing out occasional puffs of frustrated air.

But what Nick didn't realize was, Jess had been hatching a plan. She wanted to help him, but wasn't exactly sure how, since she didn't really know what it was that was stressing him. She had been playing around with an idea in her head all week.

Nick had gotten home from the bar at 1:30 last night and slept like a rock all night. He was going to tell her today. It was Saturday, and he only worked weekdays at the factory. Jess had asked if he wanted to spend the day together, and he had quickly agreed to whatever she wanted to do. He had missed her so much this week, all he wanted to do was spend all day listening to her laugh, sing and talk about any crazy thing she wanted to.

Nick woke up, his eyes opening and attempting to focus on the black and white blur in front of him.

"Hello Nicholas." Jess sat stradling Nick's waist. She was wearing a sheer black lace night gown with a large black bow on the front.

As her gorgeous body came into focus, he let his eyes travel over her curves before lifting them up to lock onto her sultry gaze. She stroked her hands across his chest, moving them back and forth.

"I bought this yesterday, do you like it?" Nick nodded, unable to do anything else in his current state of shock at his close-up view of her skantily clad torso. They had never gone for more than a day or two without having sex, and Nick was mesmerized by her serious expression, her slightly huskier voice. His heart beating faster, he opened his mouth slightly, twisting his tongue against the inside of his mouth. His excitement grew as she lifted the edge of his shirt and gently started to rub circles across his stomach.

"I'm here for you. Only you. Right now." Jess grabbed the bottom of the shirt and lifted it off over his head. She then immediately tugged his sweat pants and boxers down and threw them off the side of the bed.

She squeezed his legs with her thighs and lowered herself onto his naked body. She moved her lips to his ear and whispered, " I'm going to do whatever you want me to." Nick moaned, feeling the tension between them increasing rapidly as she spoke every word slowly and deliberately.

She began to kiss him passionately, her mouth hot and sensual on his, her hands running up and down his arms. He rested his hands on her thighs, feeling how smooth and soft they were compared to his calloused "worker hands."

Jess rose up, moving her hands to rest lightly on top of his as he continued to stroke her creamy white legs. She moaned softly and shivered at the tentative contact. He couldn't break away from her intense stare. It was driving him all kinds of crazy.

She watched as his gaze suddenly moved down, then lazily back upward, taking in her lace-veiled body, beginning with her stomach, moving up to her breasts and finally resting on her face. He felt like he might burst from the excitement of the moment. Jess read him like a novel, knowing he was more than ready for her now.

"What do you want Nicholas?" She whispered, and he noticed a slight grin appear before her face fell back into serious mode.

Nick swallowed hard before answering. "I want you naked."

Jess pulled on the edge of the black bow on her nightie, untying it. The material instantly parted down the middle of the gown like a robe, and she slid it off her shoulders and onto the bed. Then he watched as she untied the bows on both sides of her panties, pulling the material out from under her and letting it drop to the floor.

She looked down into his hazy eyes, and paused briefly before pushing herself firmly down onto his now raging arousal. He moaned as his hips bucked involuntarily, almost losing control right then. But he wanted this to last. He wanted to spend real time with her, reminding her of how much he adored her body.

She was having an amazing time playing this game with him. She had missed him so much this week. She had forgotten how lonely it felt not be able to touch Nick's body every day, all those months when they were _friends without rewards_.

Then this last week, when all they did was sleep in the same bed. Now that they were together, naked bodies writhing against each other urgently, she wanted it to last forever. But she knew him, she knew he was having trouble controlling himself and wouldn't be able to hold out much longer.

"What do you want me to do to you Nicholas?" Jess waited with baited breath for his answer, her own arousal level reaching a breaking point.

"I want you...to tell me what_ you _want." And just like that, he had turned the tables on her. Jess took in a sharp breath and Nick quickly flipped her over, underneath him. Her thighs fell apart and she took his hand and brought it to rest against her soft folds.

"I want you to touch me...here." Nick instantly began stroking his finger against her and around in circles. She moaned repeatedly as her breathing became labored and out of control. She closed her hands over his erection and rubbed it up and down, slowly at first, then with increasing speed.

Unable to take it any more, he moved himself inside her, thrusting upward roughly. She cried out and he grunted loudly. He moved out of her slowly, then thrust back up again, and again and again.

She came undone around him, clenching him tightly as she rode wave after wave of intense pleasure. He followed right after her, moaning her name loudly.

They both collapsed in a heap on the bed, limbs tangled together, breaths slowing down and gradually returning to normal. They laid there and stayed quiet, basking in the afterglow of one of the most intense experiences either of them had ever had.

"Jess...I took a second job."

Breathless, she looked over at him and her eyes widened. "What? Nick? What do you...you took a second job?"

Nick took her hand and kissed it softly, continuing to try and catch his breath. "It's just part time, from 9 to 3 pm on weekdays, working at the auto plant. I wanted to tell you right away. I just wanted to get myself on the right track first. He told her about the list. About checking account and getting his debt in order. The debt agency he spoke to had helped him to get some excellent deals on payment arrangements. He left out the part about the ring, for now.

"Nick, all this sounds great, but...I'm worried about you. You've been exhausted. You come home from the bar at night and crash. And the sex...has not...been happening either."

Nick swiped his hand over his face, and sighed. "I know, Jess, I'm sorry. I've been so tired these last few days. It's just gonna take some getting used to, that's all. Once I get better at dealing with the pace, things will even out. I promise we'll get back on track in bed, I know that's important."

Jess smiled and giggled a little. "It's just that, Nick. I mean...being together, like that...it's important to me. But it's really just because I know it's one of the main ways you express your feelings with me. I'm just worried that you're overdoing it, Nick. I know you, and you tend to not take care of yourself sometimes."

Nick leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I'm fine, Jess. Relax. This is just new. It will all get better soon. You have to trust me, okay? I'm doing this for us. It's how I want to show you that I'm focused on you and on our future."

Jess grinned wide at his mention of 'us' and 'our future'. "I do trust you, Nick. Just promise me that if things get too overwhelming, we'll figure something else out. We're together, and we're_ in_ this together, right?"

Nick pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on the top of her head, his mind focused on a magazine photo he had seen yesterday. A sparkling diamond set inside a ring of gold.

"Right."


	12. Blue Velvet

**Sorry this appears as a new chapter post. I had to update this chapter for continuity reasons. New chapter coming soon!**

Nick looked down at the check in his hands, still unable to believe it. His eyes burned and he squeezed them shut, opening them again and attempting to focus on the insane numbers in bold black print.

_Pay to the order of Nicholas Miller. One hundred and seventy five thousand dollars._

Ever since his dad's lawyer had contacted him, he had been nervous as to what he could possibly want from him. At first he had avoided his calls, sure that whatever "important business" he wanted to talk to him about, he didn't want any part of. He had already gotten eight thousand dollars that his father had left him, so he expected any follow up calls from the lawyer to be negative in nature. But, since the calls didn't seem to be letting up, Jess had finally convinced him to at least hear him out.

After they left the law offices, Jess offered to drive home. Nick sat in the passenger seat, his face unreadable, a hard lump forming in his stomach as he tried to figure out why. Why would his dad leave him this kind of money? It must have been every penny he owned. He had no idea that his dad had that much money. His lawyer had said it was recent payoff from a lucrative investment deal he had made months before he died.

_Lucrative investment_? That didn't sound like Walt Miller.

"Nick, are you okay? You haven't said a word in half an hour. You're kind of worrying me."

He looked over at Jess, still slightly dazed. He sighed deeply before answering. "Yeah. I'm fine Jess. I just...I can't believe it. Why would he leave all this money to me?"

He looked again at the computer generated script with his name on it. It just didn't seem real. Just when he was thinking about his future with Jess and trying to make ends meet enough so that he could finally ask her to be his wife,_ this _happened. They could finally move out of the loft if they wanted, start a real life together. Now every dream he had ever had was suddenly possible.

He wanted to be happy, but he was Nick Miller, so he went with his first instinct and let all the questions swirling in his head cause his mind to go into defense mode, shutting down into neutral.

"Nick, I know you. You're sitting there thinking of all the ways that this could be a mistake, and all the reasons why you don't deserve this. But you have to look at this positively. I know it's a stretch for you, but listen to me. Walt was not the most reliable guy. Yeah, he was flawed. Yeah, he wasn't the greatest father in the world, but he cared about you. He wanted you to be happy. This was his chance, his final chance to prove to you that he really loved you."

Nick blinked back tears. Actual tears. He hadn't cried when Walt died. He didn't cry at his funeral. But now, riding in a car with a check worth more than every paycheck he had ever received in his life combined, he sat back against the seat and just let the tears fall.

Jess reached over and laid her hand gently on his. He knew she understood. This wasn't about the money. It was final confirmation that Walt Miller was really gone. And that he really truly loved his son.

Nick breathed out a shaky breath, looking over at Jess. She smiled at him and he laughed softly. He suddenly felt more clear about his life than he ever had before. His dad had played a key part in that. And he finally felt at peace being Walt Miller's son.

~N/J~

"So Jess, I've been thinking. I know what I want to do with the money. Well, at least part of it. I want us to talk about it. Our future is important to me, and I want you to be in on the decision making. Sound good?"

Jess sat cross legged in front of Nick on his bed, a little stunned at his words. She was still trying to get used to this new express-your-emotions version of Nick that had been emerging since they got serious. But now, he wanted her opinion of something life changing. It took her by surprise.

"Yeah, Nick, of course. If that's what you want." She smiled a slow smile at the eager look on his face.

"It's what I want." He grinned back at her and took her hand. "I want to be smart this time around. No more mall trips and crazy impulse buying. First, I want to pay off my mom's mortgage. That's a given."

"Nick, that's awesome. Taking care of your mom is definitely number one." She leaned over and kissed his lips, pulling away and slapping her hands on his thighs. Nick laughed at her excitement.

"The next thing is kind of a big deal, and it includes you, so please be honest. I talked to my dad's lawyer again about buying a bar and running my own business. We went over a few available properties in the area, and he says it's definitely doable. But there's just one thing."

He leaned closer and focused on her eyes. "Once I buy the actual property and put in start-up costs, that's gonna burn through most of the rest of the money." He watched her and waited.

"Nick. I think that's AMAZING! Of course, you should go for it! How is that even a question? You have talked about owning your own bar since I met you. You know all about the business from all your years at Clyde's. Why would even think of not doing it?"

"What about our future? This means we'd be back at square one again. Are you sure you're willing to put up with broke Nick Miller for a while longer?"

Jess kissed his cheek quickly and threw her arms around him. "Yes! Are you kiddin me? I love that guy! This is your dream Nick. And your dreams are my dreams. I'll do anything and live anywhere, as long as I get to be with you."

He looked down, taking both of her hands in his. He brought his clear brown eyes up to hers. "I was hoping you'd say that. Because I want to be with you too, Jessica. Forever." He reached one hand behind his pillow and pulled out a blue velvet box. He opened it and set in between them.

Jess stopped breathing and just stared. A large blue sapphire surrounded by three diamonds on each side sat nestled inside the velvet folds. She brought a hand up to her trembling lips as quiet tears began to fall down her pinked cheeks.

Nick scooted closer and tilted his head, trying to catch a look at her. "I tried to match it to your eyes, but...well, there is no other blue on the planet like that."

He slowly moved his hands up to cup her cheeks, lifting her eyes to meet his expectant gaze. "Jessica Day, I love you with all my heart. My life has not been the same since I met you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Jess choked out a laugh and he laughed back, unable to contain the crazy giddy sensation in his stomach as he spoke the words he had waited his whole life to say.

"Jessica. Will you marry me?"

Intense blue eyes met cool brown, and she answered him straight from her heart.

"Yes."


	13. Cheers

It was six months after she said yes. That's how Nick had begun measuring time now. Six months had passed since Jess had agreed to be his wife.

Two weeks after she said yes, Nick had signed the papers that made him owner of his own business. Three months later, he was re-thinking the whole thing. Renovations to the bar were quickly eating away at the remaining money in his new account. He was seriously starting to worry if he had made a terrible mistake. What if he failed? What if he couldn't make it work? How could he give Jess the life she deserved?

Things started coming together around the end of the fifth month. And then by some miracle, here he was now at the opening night of _Nick's_ _Bar_.

Schmidt had tried to convince him to use one of his suggestions for the name. Nick's stress level was at an all-time high these last few months, and that night in particular, he was not in the mood.

"For that last time, Schmidt, I'm not calling my bar _The Head Baller, Chut-e-neys _or _The Angel Fish._" Later on he admitted to himself that _The Angel Fish _actually wasn't a half bad name for a bar. But he had wanted to keep things simple.

Tonight, Nick felt a strange sense of calm as he sat beside Jess at the main bar, watching his newly hired staff take care of the twelve to fifteen people who had come in througout the night.

Jess reached over and took his hand in both of hers. He looked at her and was rewarded with one of her_ I'm so excited _smiles that he used to pretend to be annoyed by. This time he let himself match her enthusiasm, and grinned widely back at her.

He really hadn't expected this many people to show the first night. But since Schmidt had appointed himself Nick's unofficial PR guy, word had gotten around about the place, and people had come in to try it out.

Nick had to hand it to Jess also, who helped him design the layout and decor. It had a casual,_ where-everybody-knows-your-name _kind of feel to it, which is exactly what Nick had wanted. No frills. Just a nice place to hang out after a hard day at work, watch a game on one of the three tvs or just enjoy a decently made cocktail or beer with friends.

"Nick, this is amazing! Have I told you how proud I am of you?" Jess leaned closer and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Nick laughed softly before answering, "Uh, well, let's see. You told me in bed when we woke up this morning. You told me in the shower. You told me before you left for work. And...oh yeah, you've told me three more times since you got here." Nick tried to play off a bothered expression, but Jess saw right through it. It was almost one in the morning, and anyone could see that the night was a success.

Jess laid her head on his arm and leaned in as close as the bar stool would allow. "You're exhausted, Nick. You need to get some real sleep tonight. You've earned it, honey."

Nick moved off his chair and put his arms around Jess, giving himself permission to let his guard down and feel the unfamilar _alls-right-with-the-world _feeling that had been drawing him in all evening.

He was engaged to the love of his life. He had what looked to be the beginnings of a successful business. How had he gotten so lucky? He felt Jess yawn against his chest and looked down into her eyes as she titled her head up to look at him.

"You're tired too. You should go on home and get to bed. I'm gonna be a couple hours probably. Gotta make sure everything behind the scenes tonight was good and get a jump on a few things for tomorrow."

Jess hugged him tighter. "Uh uh. I'm staying. We're in this together, remember? I want to at least make it through the first night with you. Now, is there anything I can do to help out? How about dishes? Jess pulled back and began to jump up, trying to run aroud to the other side of the bar. Nick chuckled and held onto her arm and pulled her back gently.

"Jess, that's incredibly sweet, but I have an awesome staff of well paid employees to do that stuff now. It's cool. Actually, just having you here with me is doing the trick."

He took her left hand in his and ran his thumb across the blue stone of her ring. It's a habit he had gotten into since the first night she wore it. They had laid in bed after an hour of amazing sex and he had started playing with the ring, running his fingers over the stone and twisting the band gently back and forth around her finger.

Smiling to himself as he remembered that night, he suddenly stood up and put his hands on either side of her face. She stood still as he moved in and kissed her briefly. Jess looked up into his eyes, seeing a glint of something wild suddenly shining out of them.

"Actually, Jess, I have a couple of things I need to check into in my office...you wanna help me out." Nick raised an eyebrow, sending her a message. Jess read it loud and clear.

"Um, yeah. Definitely." She let him guide her towards the back of the bar and into his office. It was small and windowless, but he didn't mind. It had just enough room for his desk, a couple chairs, the safe and a small couch.

They moved inside the cramped office and Nick closed the door, clicking the lock in place. He turned around and before he could say anything, Jess attacked him, throwing her body onto his, her mouth onto his mouth.

They lost their balance in the tight space and fell down onto the black and grey toned couch. Schmidt had gotten it from one of his offices recently closed down branches. Nick was still all about whatever was cheap and/or free. He was still Nick Miller.

And that was what Jess absolutely loved about this man. He had evolved from the hopeless man who had given up on love after his college girlfriend had broken his heart. He loved Jess, and let her love him back.

But he was still wanted to save and re-use foil and sandwich bags. He still kept a box in his bedroom filled with receipts and bills. He just listened to Jess and actually paid the bills eventually now. And he still ranted about government conspiracy theories, most of which Jess had never even heard of before.

Nick rolled himself on top of her trembling body and kissed her passionately, feeling the stress of the evening slowly drain and evaporate. He moved his lips to her neck and she moaned as he layered hot kisses down her throat and into the cleavage of her low-cut navy blue dress.

"So, what are those things you wanted to check in here?" Jess watched him raise his head up and lock his smoldering eyes onto hers. She reached behind her and unzipped the zipper. Nick slipped his hands underneath the straps of the dress and her bra and pulled them both down her shoulders and to her waist.

Jess lay on his couch, and felt excitement rush through her entire body at the way he was ogling her naked breasts. He leaned his head down and kissed each breast. She threw her head back and moaned his name as he used his mouth to thoroughly caress them.

Suddenly Jess pushed his head away and slid around to sit on top of him, stradling his hips. He watched her, mesmerized, letting her take the lead.

"Mr. Miller, this is quite a bar you have here. As Health Inspector for this part of the city, I have decided to give your bar a 95 out of 100." She watched the rapid rise and fall of chest as his breathing became ragged. "I've decided how you can earn the last five points...you think you're up for it?"

Nick nodded quickly as she took control of his body. For the next ten minutes he let himself forget all about what was happening on the other side of that door. That was what Jess did to him. When they were together, it was just _them_, and nothing else.

Later that night, when the bar was locked up and they were on their way back to the loft, Jess drove down the deserted streets and smiled to herself. Nick's head was leaned against the window and he snored softly. Jess smiled. Health inspector was good. Nick was defintely into that one.

After all their time together, Jess knew him. Inside and out. She had never been more proud of anyone. In the past, he had let fear tell him what to do. He confessed to her it was what kept him from making a move for that first year after she moved into the loft. It made him tell her he wanted to "call it," when that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Ever since Mexico, ever since they had been "all in," that sense of hope had begun to circle his heart. It told him that he was good and valuable and worth loving. It made him believe he actually had a chance at a happy life.

Jess drove down the streets of LA, breaking out into a wide smile as Nick mumbled, half dreaming, "I love you...inspector...lady."


End file.
